I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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