Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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