I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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