So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize