god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
