Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize