do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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