This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
