I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
True college students do jello shots in the library
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
