bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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