U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
