My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
