Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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