You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
