I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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