Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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