Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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