I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize