Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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