yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
