I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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