I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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