Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
