And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
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my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
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I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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