high people should be assigned attendants
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
