how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
When are your genitals available?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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