I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
