Non-Jews are for practice
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
