i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize