apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
