I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
