Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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