fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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