you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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