Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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