Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
