sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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