my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
