Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize