I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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