hotel room ftw
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
