I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Everything about him screamed your future.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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