was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
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the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
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I'm determined to sit on that face.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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