did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize