I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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