I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
