i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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