Got a toothbrush?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
