Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
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It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
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You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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