I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
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You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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