i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I love you.
Bad choice
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
