do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
