May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
