hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
