Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
