; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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