Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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