Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
